wires and waves, rilo kiley.

so another day had come and gone

and i am already feeling the anxiety of not being in school,

and for lack of a better feeling, i feel like a failure.

it's as if i'm being punished for my uncertainty at ages 18, 19 and 20.

i feel completely weighed down by all the things i should be.

all the things i know i am not. all the things i will never be.

but no, i am not any of those things.

i don't even really know how to let people in.

after all these relationships, falling in love, falling out of love -

all of these things feel like wasted time.

with all of the things i've learned, i still feel like i know nothing.

i remember being in high school, feeling like i had all the time in the world.

feeling like things were much simpler, decisions were made 

and i never had to worry because there was always another year of school.

back then, life was all black and white. and now? it's nothing but shades of gray.

filled with tons of unanswered questions and ticking clocks.

life became so complicated so quick. without me even noticing.

i know, i'm only twentythree. i'm still young.

i have lots of time but maybe time is but an illusion.

maybe when you think you have a lot of it, 

you really don't.

time is fleeting.

"and sometimes lonely hearts, 

they just get lonelier."