single and fabulous?

the earthquake of '73, the fruit bats.

i'm sitting in a starbucks in downtown portland, overlooking the square.
it's a surprisingly busy monday, the rain does not stop for anyone.
everyone's got their fall jackets, boots and umbrellas out,
prepared for whatever kind of weather oregon might throw at them.
and here i am, having absent-mindedly left my coat at home,
sticking out like a sore thumb, with my pants soaked to my ankles.

but that's not the only thing i am noticing that separates me from the townfolk;
everyone is paired off. it's like noah's ark and i didn't get the memo.
i've been told that oregon is a place people come to settle down,
but seriously, couples are everywhere i look.
a couple of teenagers making out on the corner 10th and yamhill,
the sweetest gay couple cuddling on the steps of pioneer square,
even a man and wife committing to a life together,
regardless of the rain and doubt that threatens to separate them.

everyone here is so unabashed,
unafraid of the unequivocal love they share.
people love so freely here.
and then there are people like me.

people that build walls and make every excuse to run away.
even when a great thing is staring them straight into the eyes,
even when every promise you could ever imagine being promised,
we still walk away. we still say no. we cling to our singlehood.
maybe we're scared. maybe we're damaged. but our love, it's a fight.

i've wondered if maybe there's someone out there that will fight for it.
or maybe, maybe someday i will have to break down my walls for someone.

all i know, whatever i do, for right now, i have not found that person yet.
and until i do, i will have to walk in these single shoes.
and that is perfectly alright with me.