so i've noticed recently,
i have this stupid thing in my body.
it's called a heart
and it really bugs the crap out of me.
for whatever reason, i keep being reminded of the past,
of why i shut down, of why i am generally apathetic when it comes to love.
i try to pretend that i am an optimist, but with the history that is my life,
people come and go too frequently.
so i push people away,
i walk away into empty spaces, trying to understand,
make sense of why i am constantly being the one left behind.
truth is: i am afraid.
i want someone i can lean on, trust in and believe in.
i just want some fucking consistency.
currently playing:
"saviour (acoustic)" by lights.
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