MAX Musings.
January 21st, 2011 - "L'amore e cieco."

On the way home from a particularly rough day at work, I was trying to keep myself from dozing off on the MAX. Across from me were two girls that couldn't have been much older than eighteen. All dressed up on a Friday night with nowhere to go. One mentioned calling her ex-boyfriend to see what he was up to. Apparently he was the love of her life and she didn't want to let him idly slip through her fingers, whilst "whore bags like Jessica were looking to snatch him up". I tried to sequester my giggles with a fake cough. They glanced over in my direction and I'm sure some sort of awkward moment came to fruition, but thankfully it was quickly dismissed and they went back to their conversation. "He's the best thing that has ever happened to me. Sure, there's drama there, but man, he makes me weak at the knees. I love him." I couldn't help but hold in yet another giggle. "You're only eighteen. What do you know about love?" I silently mused. But no sooner than that thought came to me, did I question my own knowledge of love and it's intricacies. One almost marriage. One ex-boyfriend that I was currently in a fight with. One current overly complicated fling. And one new stranger that was interested in me. My own relationship with love was a tangled web of distress that left me with a hundred questions and absolutely zero answers. So, who was I to judge these girls? Maybe it really was true love between her and her ex-boyfriend. Maybe they really were soul mates. Or maybe it was just a teenage excuse to get laid. Who knows? Certainly I was in position to make comments or pass judgments. The truth is that no one ever really knows about love. Even when you're in it, you're constantly wondering if you really are or if it's all in your head; if it's the real thing or just some elaborate fantasy you've carefully constructed. I started thinking about the fine line between love and lust. The real thing versus the illusion; how to distinguish what your heart is projecting versus what is really in front of you. "L'amore e cieco." Love is blind. It's true. Love makes fools of all of us. It makes us hold radios over our heads, throw rocks at windows, stay up all night texting when we have to work early in the morning, karaoke awful 80's songs, all of these things. It lifts us up to the sky and sometimes, drops us to the bottom of the ocean. Love is messy, it's tricky and complicated. You'll inevitably spend nights alone, pacing back and forth, wondering if she or he really likes you. You'll talk endlessly about them to your friends, perking up any time someone mentions their name. You'll look at your phone a hundred times, willing them to call. And you'll look like a fool doing all of these things. But maybe all you can do when you find the person that sends your heart all a'flutter is to simply just hold on and try to make the ride last as long as possible, remembering to cherish every moment. Maybe that person might break your heart, but maybe, just maybe they'll be the one you spend your life with. Love is like a book with the ending ripped out. You never know how the story ends, but let's be honest, that's part of the excitement. ;)