ex-pend-a-ble.

expendable.
adjective; 
1. (of an object) designed to be used only once and then abandoned or destroyed.
2. of little significance when compared to an overall purpose, and therefore able to be abandoned.

i never needed you, never asked for you.
but there, suddenly, upon my doorstep you were.
i never asked anything from you,
never had any expectations,
but in the blink of an eye,
i was swept off my feet, enveloped in trust,
thinking that this would never end,
could never end.

it wasn't just one time.
if it were, i would have just walked in the other direction,
soaked my hands and washed it all away.
i could have admitted defeat,
accepted that i wasn't what you were looking for.
but no, over time, it just grew and grew.
well, mine did.
you can change your feelings.
i can't help mine.

so i'm the one left sitting on the road,
looking up to the stars, the heavens,
screaming out to some foreign deity,
one i don't even think exists,
but you told me to believe, to just have hope.
so here i am, drenched in my sorrow,
in the wetness of the sprinklers,
in all of my doubt, your lies.

what was it worth.
i can only be curious.
i hope replacement me feels just as good,
fills all of the holes you're trying
to convince yourself you don't feel.

it's fine, i'll be okay
i don't need an apology,
or even any pity.

i've got this,
i'm used to being on my own.
i know i am strong
and that i do not need you.

i just hope it was worth it.