i hope you never lose your childish innocence.

i remember a time not so long ago..
(okay, maybe a little bit longer than i'd like to think ago)
i was standing in the chapel of my k-8th grade baptist school,
in a sea of tacky red, vinyl cotton blend graduation gowns,
singing out leann womack's tacky "i hope you dance" hit song.
several minutes later, we each made a commitment to honor those lyrics:

"to never lose our sense of wonder,
get our fill but never lose our hunger,
to never take a single breath for granted,
to give faith a fighting chance
and even though love might be a mistake,
that is was one worth making."

as i was sitting in the car with maddison this morning,
in the middle of a deep, heart-wrenching conversation,
these lyrics flooded back into my head, like the waves crashing onto the sand.
i remember the conviction with which i spoke each syllable,
letting each one wash over me, sinking into my soul.

maddison and i both, on the same page, spoke about
the importance of childhood innocence.
each of us desperately long to protect our's:
to never lose the sense of wonderment,
the desire to discover, learn, embrace and be fascinated,
and at the bottom of all of this,
love: irrevocably, inconveniently and without hesitation.

and this is my hope for you, as well.
i hope that when you see a flower on the sidewalk,
you take a moment to notice it's beauty.
i hope that when you see a child laughing,
that you too laugh.
i hope that when it rains, you take a moment to dance in it.
i hope that when you see a stranger crying,
you feel no second-thought, no hesistation to comforting them.
i hope that when you wake up, turn on your pot of coffee,
brush your teeth, jump in the shower and make breakfast
that you are filled with the excitement and joy of the day.
i hope all of these things for you and so much more.

because, like i've said and i'll say again,
life really is a beautiful, gorgeous thing.

i hope you take time to notice.
and as always, love, t.

lather.
rinse.
repeat.

that's all my life has been comprised of lately.
go to work. sleep. eat. go back to work.
there's not much space for much else,
especially on this whole overnight schedule.

i am a total night person,
but for whatever reason, especially lately,
i find it so difficult to wake up in the morning.
unmotivated. disorganized.

it seems as though my life, at least for the moment,
is defined in large part by my need to pay bills.
and in order to do so, my blanks are filled in with
work, work, work and more work.

i've been looking into new jobs that will
hopefully turn over and provide a more
positive profit to frustration ratio.
because right now, starbucks just ain't cuttin it.
(it's time to get out.)

on the upswing though, i do finally feel more alive in portland.
a large part definitely due to friendships i am forming.
slowly but surely, i've found my home.


well, at least, some semblance of a temporary home.
unfortunately, i must go back to work.
until next time.
always, tiff.